Welcome to Deadspin’s The Sports activities Nihilist, the place all is for naught, and we’re however unintended jolts of electrified meat caught to the outside of a rock in an detached universe.
There were as many takedowns of NBA All-Superstar Weekend as there have been issues within the All-Superstar Recreation. Everybody has a repair, an answer, or a diatribe over how disgusting it used to be to look at the most productive basketball gamers in the world obliterate the sport’s level overall. It will take your reasonable Y-league group 4 video games to amass 397 issues, and those guys did it in 48 mins.
What’s to not like?
This used to be necessarily a Harlem Globetrotters show off however each groups had a handshake deal to play Washington Generals (Wizards?) stage protection. Are you aware what number of people display up simply to look at Steph Curry heave half-court pictures, and fireplace from the tunnel in warmups? Thousands and thousands!
The sport actually does no longer subject. It manner not anything, like existence, so Kendrick Perkins and Austin Rivers can shout about it being an insult to the sport of basketball, however the ones two dopes wouldn’t know as a result of they by no means seemed in a single. It’s an affront to exhibitions in all places to not placed on a display. Luka Doncic failing to self-oop? Damian Lillard profitable every other superfluous MVP award? Throw down a dunk, give a nod to the gang, and pull up a chair.
No sum of money will encourage a host of marketers to jeopardize their major earnings circulation, so NBA gamers valuing their careers over a pretend sport tracks. They actively take a seat out video games of result to maintain their moneymakers. Why within the title of Zeus’ butthole would they possibility such a lot as a hangnail in an exhibition?
Adam Silver isn’t the puppet grasp, he’s the marionette.
“And to the Japanese Convention All-Stars, you scored probably the most issues,” Silver mentioned throughout the trophy rite. “Smartly … congratulations.”
What’s the plan right here, Adam? Dying via one million passive-aggressive jabs? Until the prize cash is sufficient to put Bronny VII thru school, this may at all times be a scoring extravaganza, and I am hoping it remains the direction. Upload a 10-point line, lift the edges, decrease the edges, I’m speaking a full-out MTV Rock N’ Jock revel in.
The LED court docket has such a lot possible for power-ups and boosters, and those morons are clamoring for protection? How about spectacle as an alternative? If Silver enacts one rule alternate, let or not it’s that, henceforth, the All-Superstar level overall report should be reset once a year. Cause them to rating the similar of a case of cigarettes and notice how a lot they prefer smoking after that.
Hell, incorporate the Dunk and 3-Level contests throughout the sport. I imply that’s the one method you’ll get All-Stars within the dunk contest. Isn’t that what those occasions are about? Faux information, sham awards, feats of athleticism and taking pictures, 0 protection.
They already let guys dunk and shoot unimpeded, so why must the sport itself be any other? F*cking hypocrites, guy.
Eliminate the clock and return to the Elam Finishing, however set the profitable level overall at 350. You wish to have to shoot observe jumpers? It’s no longer over till one group makes 100 threes, and 25 dunks. Give Karl-Anthony Cities an actual shot to damage Wilt Chamberlain’s single-game scoring mark AT ALL-STAR WEEKEND. You recognize that’s the future he at all times sought after.
As for the future of the All-Superstar Recreation, the standard — or level overall — can best move up from right here. Let or not it’s the latter.
