There is not any antidote or vaccine to be had for Aaron Rodgers’ mind trojan horse infestation. He’s all the time been a doofus of his personal making. All over an look on The Pat McAfee Display, a humbled Rodgers used his alternative to applaud the New York Jets protection to insert a dig at Travis Kelce by means of relating to him as “Mr. Pfizer.”
For those who’re a Swiftie or simply a normal NFL shopper whose lifestyles doesn’t revolve round litigating COVID vaccines for the remainder of your grownup lifestyles simply to give protection to your fragile ego, then the reference most likely made no sense.
Alternatively, the Pfizer reference is a jab at Rodgers mocking our best residing sportsman’s participation in an difficult to understand advert selling the COVID and flu vaccines the place he shouts “two issues immediately,” which is a correct activity description for tight ends too. I’m no longer even certain his red meat is all concerning the vax. See, Aaron I will be able to do conspiracy theories, too. Two too can play this recreation!
Conspiracy concept 1: The Pfizer advert in brief options Donna Kelce, which perhaps reminds Aaron that he hasn’t spoken to his folks in years. We must all really feel more or less dangerous for Rodgers at this level. He built his personal castle of private solitude, so I may just see how that advert may strike him proper within the feels. It will have to were disheartening popping out of the darkness backing out and the one ignored messages had been all “WYD” texts from Adam Schefter.
Rodgers lives a sterile lifestyles devoid of circle of relatives. He’s virtually bring to an end totally from his circle of relatives and more than likely jealous that the opposing crew’s tight finish introduced his extra well-known date to upstage him whilst he watched from a set. Sunday night time was once meant to be all about his triumphant go back to MetLife and as a substitute, all somebody may just speak about had been Swifties and Brittany Mahomes. He was once most likely ticked off that Ryan Reynolds randomly tagged alongside as a substitute of attending some C-Checklist football fit in Wrexham.
Conspiracy concept 2: Rodgers lives for the eye, which is why he calls into Pat McAfee’s display each and every week. Each and every time NBC’s digicam minimize to Swift, Rodgers died a little bit inside of. I guess he regrets breaking apart with Shailene Woodley now. I may just certainly see him muttering angrily, “Travis Kelce?!! They’re eager about a glorified slot receiver?? We’re best at the Sunday Night time time table on account of ME!!”
Aaron attempted hiking the fame dating ladder himself and he in some way reached Olivia Munn’s degree. That model of Rodgers was once much less bizarre, didn’t espouse as a lot meshuga concerning the well being advantages of dolphin intercourse, choice COVID immunization, ayahuasca trips, and no matter else he published out from boards he visited at 3 a.m.
Then, he screwed it up with Munn like he’s nuked each and every different dating in his lifestyles. The whole lot’s long gone downhill from there. At his age, he’s changing into the bizarre fella his famous person buddies have stopped introducing to their unmarried famous person buddies. In some way, his antipathy for contemporary medication is a metaphor for his addiction of self-sabotaging. Glance how satisfied Inexperienced Bay appears to be like with out his darkish power soaring round. Can’t blame that on Pfizer.
Latching onto fringe Web theories is basically how his descent into changing into the Curt Schilling of quarterbacks snowballs. I hate the Experian business the place Kelce fawns over some rando and his bank card fee historical past. His supply is picket, but it surely doesn’t linger in my head like the rest Pfizer-related does to Aaron’s psyche.
Mockingly, Rodgers trusts board-certified surgeons to carry out experimental surgical procedures on his Achilles that may supposedly have him in a position to play in time for the postseason. If the rest, he’s the person who can’t get Pfizer out of his head. It’s no longer like Kelce is raking in touchdowns after which breaking it down in post-game pressers by means of explaining how Mahomes exploited porous coverages in a way that competitors how mRNA vaccines go throughout the negatively charged phospholipid bilayer of the mobile membrane.
I suppose we must be grateful that Aaron didn’t name him Mr. Bud Mild.
